More and Less, All At Once
by blankardtheeighth
Summary: Kagome wonders how she allowed herself to reach this point. Sesshomaru thinks it's fine for her to stick around with him in the woeful universe of insanity. After all, how crazy did this Sesshomaru have to be in order to pine after an immortal priestess of all things?


**Disclaimer: Why do I even need to write this, everyone knows that I don't own Inuyasha.**

 **Author's Note:** **It's my first shot at writing a story on ffnet, so go easy on me. I'm trying to keep my grammar and vocabulary at least mildly legible, and will do my best to make everything develop at a realistic (or as realistic as two fictional** **characters can be) pace. Maybe the characters will be a little OOC but I'll try to keep them as to their original character as much as I can. Any comments/reviews on what what you think will happen next, your opinion on my work, or even constructive criticism is welcome and appreciated :) This is just the first chapter, so I'm kind of using it to gauge reader response and will use that as a baseline for how the story progresses.**

* * *

 **Rating:** T (May progress into M in later chapters)

 **Summary:** Kagome wonders how she allowed herself to reach this point. Sesshomaru thinks it's fine for her to stick around with him in the woeful universe of insanity. After all, how crazy did this Sesshomaru have to be in order to pine after an immortal priestess of all things?

* * *

Kagome looked down at the rapidly healing bruises and bitemarks upon her body as she bathed, washing his scent off of her before she returned to camp to meet with Inuyasha and the others. It truly impressed her; the sudden increase in her body's capabilities since having defeated Naraku. Her wish to the jewel- for it to disappear had been the right wish. But the jewel had been corrupted and purified and infused and diffused with all sorts of power so many times, that combined with its natural capabilities, forcing it to disappear without a trace was impossible.

So a compromise was made. Kagome sacrificed her time-travelling abilities. She gave up the chance to ever see her family and loved ones from the future again, in return for immortality that would absorb almost all of the rest of the jewels remaining power, therefore dissolving most of whatever the shikon left behind into her body. It was all claimed as reiki.

She was practically a demon at this point.

Ironically, a human, a human _priestess_ was basically given the body of a demon. Borderline immortal, with insane healing and regenerative abilities, and as much reiki as a daiyoukai had youki. She may not have been able to jump through the trees with a person on her back like Inuyasha could, but she was closer to a full demon than he ever would be.

Sighing, she pushed herself out of the hot spring, drying herself off best she could before pulling on her miko garb; yanking the the string holding her hair tied high on her head out of it's bow and letting the thick ebony waves flow freely down her clothed back. It was one thing to naturally look like Kikyo. It was a completely different one to both naturally look like her _and_ dress and do her hair like the undead woman.

As she walked back to the village, Kagome was quickly greeted by Aki and Nari, Miroku and Sango's little twin daughters barreling into her legs, their faces stretched by warm grins as their hands shot for hers, dragging her off to see something.

"Gome! Aunty Gome, Mama gave birth! Now let's go look at the slug Nari and I found!" Kagome's eyes widened at the news, as she pulled each girl into an arm and ran off to Sango's hut. Why hadn't they started with that? She couldn't believe she missed such a milestone in the life of her best friend. Sure, maybe it was her third child already, but the first two were twins so Kagome only counted that as one event. This would be the third most important happening in the demon-slayers life, right alongside her marriage, and Aki and Nari being born, and not even including everything they'd gone through during their travels.

Arriving at the hut of Sango, Kagome put down the twins, moving straight to the brunette, currently cradling a swathed baby in her arms. "Boy or girl?"

"Boy." Sango didn't even look up at her, her face content as she smiled down at her child, a finger being gripped tightly by a tiny hand. "His name is Souta." Kagome's eyes welled up in tears as she moved for the mother, sliding in next to her and wrapping her arms carefully around her waist, burying her face in her shoulder. It meant a lot to Kagome that Sango would name her child after her little brother. Since having been blocked off from her family, Kagome felt the incessant urge to at the very least talk about them. Tell stories about them and remember what they meant to her. Making sure she didn't forget them.

Sango was the person she told all her stories too. She figured Sango had experienced the strongest bond with her own family, and that made their conversations flow as they reflected on the good times to one another, absorbing each others loneliness and sorrows.

"I love you." Sango finally looked away from Souta, to the azure-eyed priestess curled up against her. She gazed warmly at the girl, allowing her own head to fall and rest on Kagome's.

"I love you too, Gome."

". . ." Kagome paused "As much as Miroku?" Sango chuckled, nodding,

"As much as Miroku."

"As much as hiraikotsu?"

"Let's not push it." Kagome burst into a fit of giggles, and Sango followed. "You wanna hold him?" Kagome nodded eagerly, accepting the baby into her arms; carefully cradling his neck in the crook of her elbow. She'd had lots of practice by now from when the twins were still little.

"He looks like Miroku." Kagome cooed at the little boy in her arms, her face stuck in a beam as she stared down at him.

"He better not grow up to be a lecher like his father." As the girls laughed to themselves, Miroku, Inuyasha, and Kikyo entered the hut. Kagome's eyes followed to where a clawed hand rested on Kikyo's hip, and not letting her smile falter, she handed Souta back to his mother before standing and taking a hand each from Inuyasha and Kikyo.

"Let's give Mama and Papa a little alone time to welcome the newest addition to the family." She smiled softly at the couple who followed her without argument. Even making her immortal hadn't absorbed all of the shikon's power, though she did take the brunt of it. Kohaku, who the jewel had supported, had lived, and the soul-collecting demons, with amplification from the jewel, had become what Kikyo needed to continue to walk amongst them, though her body remained made of clay.

While her jealousy of Inuyasha's affections for Kikyo had long since waned, along with her romantic feelings for the half-demon, a part of Kagome couldn't help but resent Kikyo; something she suspected came from her deep-rooted inferiority complex against the elder Miko. Kikyo, who was supposed to be dead, now had a family. She was a capable Miko whose skills were fine-tuned and praised throughout the village, and her control over her spiritual power was beyond just adept, to the point of excelling, even in comparison to some of the most top-tier priestesses.

It was far more than Kagome could say for herself. At this point, she was the only one without a lover or family amongst their group, minus Shippo who was away training at fox school. Her skills, in contrast to Kikyo's focused and delicately powerful precision that could be manipulated to her will, could do little more than basic self defense and slaying masses through widespread destruction. Kagome liked to think that it was because of how ridiculously large a pool of reiki she had, but deep down, she knew that while her reiki quantity may play a part, the main issue was centered around her below average control.

Recently, she'd found a new way to release stress. Wandering off into the forest, she spread her reiki; searching for him. She'd found him. "Looking for me Miko?" Or rather, he found her.

"I was actually." She smiled up weakly at him. Watching Inuyasha and Kikyo, and Sango and Miroku and their happy little family had worn down on her. That's what she wanted. She wanted to have a family again. A place where she would always belong. "How are you Sesshomaru?"

"Seeing as we've only been apart for about two hours, this one has to wonder what could've worn down on you so much that you come searching for him so soon."

"Well aren't you chatty today?" The western lord seemed to scoff with his eyes as he stared down at her.

"Rin wants to learn how to read. This one is under the impression that this place leaves you searching for something. Would it not be mutually beneficial if you were to come join this one in his palace?"

"You would dispose of me after Rin can read properly no?"

"Not necessarily. So long as you prove useful to this one somehow, you will always be free to remain there. You are educated, a rare trait in a woman- human or demoness, powerful, and would do well as a commander in this one's army, and good at relieving this one's stress. A trait none other than yourself have managed to achieve. This one will always find use for you, and you will therefore always be welcome into this one's pack." Kagome could already feel her mood brightening. She would admit it, she was a sucker for pretty words, and while Sesshomaru was far from a conversationalist, when he opened his mouth, only things he meant came out of it.

She was tempted to take his offer. She adored Rin, and didn't doubt that she'd be useful there. Here, including herself, there were three miko's, and most spiritually inclined or not, she was painfully inept in comparison to those two who'd had several decades of practice. But her friends and their families were here. Would it really be right of her to just walk away from them like that?

But at the same time, she had an eternity now, and she didn't doubt that she'd be allowed to come back and visit her friends whenever she pleased. Sesshomaru and her had a relationship that benefited both parties, and were close comrades at this point. They weren't lovers, and weren't quite close enough to be friends, but they respected each other, and helped each other and had similar interests, and that was all there was to it. Sesshomaru would never try to hold her down somewhere. He would keep her around for as long as she was useful or until she decided she wanted to leave, and in return, she didn't delve deeply into his life, sticking around for the good parts, sharing warmth through cold times, and then moving their separate ways without question or complication.

The friends with benefits contract they had was an unspoken one. As Kagome watched her friends find families and life partners and missed the part of her that would forever remain missing, Sesshomaru dealt with the struggles of being a leader when really he was more of a wanderer and warrior at heart. He was the type who would rather fight on his own orders than sit in his palace and send orders to others.

The stress was too much for the both of them and they found relief in each other. There were hardly any feelings involved and it was much less complicated than most other relationships of that nature. They had a mutual understanding, and Kagome knew that what they had would never necessarily be a romantic situation. That was okay with her. She trusted Sesshomaru and wanted to be his friend more than his lover. (Though she wouldn't give the sex up for the world.)

"Maybe I'll take you up on that offer. I think Rin has been missing the west anyway."

Sesshomaru nodded. "We will leave mid-day tomorrow. Tell Rin to be ready."

"Thank you, Sesshomaru." He didn't turn back.

* * *

As Kagome stepped into the hut where Rin laid napping, she smiled softly as she crouched down, gently stroking the little girl's hair. With Shippō gone, Rin had become the childish light in her life, a role she'd never allowed to be empty for long periods of time. Back home, it was Souta. While they were hunting shards, it was Shippō, and now in peace times, it was Rin. "Kagome," Rin's eyes blinked awake as she greeted the older girl. "G'morning." She yawned.

Kagome laughed softly. "Noon actually. Lord Sesshomaru came by earlier,"

"Aw, I didn't get to say hello," Rin whined. "I love being here but I really miss him and Jaken and Ah-Un."

"Well you're in luck. You said you wanted to learn how to read right?" Rin nodded. "Lord Sesshomaru said we're headed back to the Western palace. You're going to be educated." Rin's faced seemed to glow at that. She jumped up and onto Kagome like an excited puppy.

"Wait, we're? You're coming too?!" Her smile stretched so wide, Kagome thought her face would tear.

"Yep. I'm going to be your educator!" At that, the girl practically squealed as her arms wrapped right around Kagome. Rin really loved Kagome. She was really the only older female figure Rin knew closely other than Lady Kaede, and she was beautiful, smart, strong, and kind. Rin aspired to be like Kagome one day, and the fact that Kagome gave the best hugs was just a plus.

"Go prepare your belongings. Sesshomaru will be here to pick us up mid-day tomorrow." Eagerly, Rin bounced off of her, to complete said task.

A fond look sat warm in Kagome's eyes as she watched the 12 year old. She may call Rin little still yet (something she would continue to do forever, even when Rin was an adult), but she knew that Rin was growing up. She was already up to Kagome's chin after all, it was hard not to notice.

Kagome was both exceptionally concerned and excited to see Sesshomaru's reaction once Rin got her first period. She was honestly far from ready to do the whole sit down, birds and bees puberty with talk she was sure she'd have to have with Rin sooner than later. She wanted the girl educated and she sincerely doubted Sesshomaru would be willing to give "the talk." There was a 100% chance he'd throw that task to her.

She snorted at the thought of great demon lord Sesshomaru trying to explain the processes of the female body and how baby-making, or "rutting" as demons would call it, worked. She imagined that it would even catch Sesshomaru struggling for words.

Her next stop was Sango and Miroku's hut. She didn't want to imagine what kind of betrayal it may feel like to her friends if she was to just leave without a notice or goodbye. She wasn't so sure how she would break the news to Inuyasha. Maybe they didn't have that romantic connection they did in the past anymore, but he was still her best friend. Sango was her best female friend, but Inuyasha was her best, best, bffeti, best friend forever even through immortality, best friend.

Sango and Miroku sat curled up together. The twins sleeping with their heads in Miroku's lap as the couple admired little Souta in their arms. Kagome hated that she could feel cold jealousy climbing up her spine as she looked over the happy family. She felt reassured in going with Sesshomaru. She needed to get away from this, all these happy families and couples, knowing it was something she may never have. She was terrified that one day it would be too much for her and she would say something she'd undoubtedly regret.

She could just see it, that mean, dark and ugly side of her that she hated coming out and saying awful things to the only people she had left, and then they would leave and she would be alone for the rest of eternity.

Some people may see her immortal status as a blessing, but she couldn't help but feel that wasn't the case. It horrified her that throughout the years, her attachment to humanity would decrease (was decreasing) and her mindset would become closer to that of a demon as she watched the mortals surrounding her die. It was a plot line used in modern movies time and time again, and it was a good one. It was a realistic turn of events she could easily see coming to life. She just never realized it would refer to her life.

She understood why demons refused to interact with humans and saw them as lower beings. Her own, personal feelings didn't quite go that far yet, but unlike a more childish, 15 year-old version of herself who only saw demons as a human-hating evil, she'd learned that nothing was black and white and that assuming opinions by species was one of the most stupid and ridiculous things you could do, a realization she learned slowly, and then had smashed in her face when her relationship with the lord of the West began.

"How's Souta?" Her voice was soft as she asked. She didn't want to wake Aki or Nari, or wake the baby.

"He takes to his mother's breasts as much as myself." Replied Miroku. He swiftly grabbed Sango's wrist gently before she could slap him, and placed a soft kiss on her lips to appease her. "Only right that a man knows how to appreciate the lovely after all." Sango scoffed and rolled her eyes, though she said nothing in response.

"I-" she took a deep breath, "I have something to tell you guys." Sango looked up at her and both waited patiently for her to speak. Gulping and swallowing her nerves, Kagome continued. "I'm leaving. With Rin."

Sango's eyebrows lifted. Carefully, she handed Souta off to Miroku and pushed herself up; a motion that made Kagome panic as she figured a woman who just gave birth that morning should not be up and at it so soon. She knew however, that Sango was a stubborn moose, and would not take no for an answer, so she instead opted to gently waking Aki and Nari and sending them to her hut alongside Miroku and Souta.

Settling next to her friend, she tried to avoid looking Sango straight in the eyes. "Why? I know you're keeping something from me and you better tell me now before I rename Souta."

Now that was something Kagome didn't want to answer, but her friendship was on the line here. "Please don't tell Inuyasha." Sango nodded firmly.

"It's between us. What happens here doesn't leave."

"How do I say this, um," Kagome tumbled over her words as she tried to find a way to depict the relationship between Sesshomaru and herself in the most non-crude way possible. "I've been having sex with Sesshomaru." That wasn't crude, she was pretty sure. She could've said they were fuck buddies.

"So what's the joke?" Sango did not look amused as she stared at Kagome. " _Sesshomaru_?!" She practically shouted his name.

Kagome hushed her hurriedly, "Shut up, shut up! You said that way too loud, Lord of the East probably heard you!"

"And you said that you and Rin are leaving tomorrow. I'm assuming you mean with him and I'm hoping my assumption is wrong. Please, tell me that isn't what you meant." When Kagome made no move to deny the claim, Sango sighed. "I know that we aren't really fighting anymore, but can you trust Sesshomaru? Rin is one thing. I know for a fact that he'll openly take care of her, but if you mess up on accident, even just once, how will he respond?"

"Sango, I'll be fine."

"You don't know that. I'm only saying this because I care and I think it's a bad idea. Maybe he won't brazenly hurt you, but he would probably have no problem leaving you in the dust, on your own if he loses interest!"

"Sango, that won't happen- "

"But what if it does? Kagome, seriously. I know you. Sooner or later, something will slip. Maybe in your throws of pleasure with the sexy, almighty demon lord, you'll mistake lust for love and expect more of him than he can give. Your entire arrangement with him seems wrong, and you deserve better. You deserve to get married one day, to someone who can understand and reciprocate your passion, and goodness, and kindness, and love. Don't you see that Kagome?"

Taking a shuddering breath, Kagome could feel her patience running thin and her infamous temper just dying to raise its ugly head. "Sango, that won't happ-"

"Kagome!" Sango interrupted her again. Slightly fed up, Kagome spoke over her.

"That won't happen Sango! I won't fall for him. I won't fall for anyone. I won't let myself, because now, with this body, falling in love is impossible. Do you think I don't want that? To get married to a man who will feel how I feel for him? Who will love me and take care of me? The only men who will live as long as I will are Daiyōkai, and most would rather die than mate a human, immortal or not!" Sango's eyes widened at Kagome's outburst. She didn't know what to say.

"Sesshomaru is willing to rut with you. Doesn't that in a way mean he'll consider mating with you?" Kagome's laugh was bittersweet as she replied.

"Sesshomaru probably wouldn't admit it, but he likes me as a person. He knows that I'll live long, and even big bad lord of the West needs a break sometimes. That's me. He doesn't feel stressed when he's with me, and I feel the same with him. It isn't love or anything close. It's mutual benefits and camaraderie. One day I hope I can be his friend, and a friend wouldn't add the stress of a mate onto his plate. Sesshomaru will need an heir one day, and even then I doubt he'll take a mate. He'll probably just impregnate a bitch and allow her to live in his palace for the child."

"I'm sorry Kagome. I just, I don't know what to do or say. It still sounds bad, but I know you won't budge and I'm trying to come up with an argument that will make you reconsider, but really, my mind is on overdrive right now and I can't."

"Sango, I don't think I'll ever take a lover. I won't be able to take it, watching as my husband and family grow old and die before me. I lost a family once, and I'll break if it happens again. If it makes you feel any better, my role there centers around educating Rin. Not entertaining Sesshomaru."

"It doesn't reassure me, but I don't think anything will at this point. Just… take Kirara with you, please. It would make me feel a little better about everything if you did." Kagome nodded softly, feeling tears gather in her eyes as she hugged her friend.

"Okay."

"I love you. Don't forget that."

"Jeez, you make it sound like we won't see each other again. I'll come by to visit every once in a while." She giggles, shifting so she could drape Sango's legs over her lap and massage her feet. Sango sighed in content. Her feet were still swollen, even post-childbirth and if Kagome was anything, it was an amazing masseuse. "So what was that you mentioned about Sesshomaru being sexy earlier?" Kagome's smile was pure evil and Sango tosses back her head in a guffaw at the question.

"Demon lord of not, any female with hormones and eyes can acknowledge that you snagged yourself a yummy one Kagome."

"Remember Bankotsu?"

"It was such a waste that he was working with Naraku, he was one attractive man."

"Y'know, when Naraku wasn't being a creep and just wore a human form, he wasn't too bad himself."

"Ew Kagome, I'm going to pretend you didn't say that."

"So I take it that you ladies are done now." Miroku's deep voice cut clear through their girl talk as he entered the hut, shooing Kagome out with a mildly vexed look scouring his face. "I hope you weren't leading my beloved wife down the ever so wretched path of infidelity lady Kagome." His laugh was bright but clearly not at all amused.

"We were simply discussing attractive men of our past Miroku."

"Villains, yes, of course. It couldn't even be simple villagers, it had to be our most powerful former enemies that you women find attractive." Kagome and Sango snickered.

"Guilty as charged. Me and Sango were trying to figure out a way to revive our former enemies so we could have a mini orgy with the four of us."

"A what?"

"Never mind."

"I don't know what it is, but I feel that I should be offended that I wasn't included." Kagome sighed. It was no wonder Miroku felt like that, his pervert senses were probably twitching.

"Sounds about right."

"Though I do not approve of how you try to make my beloved's mind wander, I'll miss you Kagome. I hope you will be safe on your journey." He leaned in for a hug, and Kagome wrapped her arms around him in goodbye. It was a nice moment until Miroku's hands began to wander down to somewhere they most definitely didn't respond.

"How can you talk to us about wretched paths when you can't even contain your own perversions? You lecherous monk." Kagome smacked him upside the head, firmly scolding him. "Hands to yourself. No more hugs until Sango and I can deem you trustworthy." Behind her, Sango nodded in agreement.

"Well, I'm off to tell Inuyasha." Just saying it made Kagome wince, and she could see the same reaction on Miroku and Sango's faces. "Wish me luck."

* * *

To say Inuyasha was unhappy with the current situation, was an understatement. Mated as he may be, he still held fierce protectiveness over her, and despite the fact that he and his brother were currently on _can be in the same room without bloodshed occurring. Sometimes._ terms rather than the whole _I see you, you see me, we try to kill each other on sight._ thing they had going on in the past, they far from got along.

Though his opinions on humans had much increased thanks to his time with Rin and Kagome, Sesshomaru would likely always resent Inuyasha, based more on his father's lack of fidelity than Inuyasha's human parts specifically, though he knew his mother didn't truly care enough about his father to find great mind in the illicit relationship between Touga and Izayoi. Sesshomaru was a firm believer in honor, and considered cheating something absolutely ridiculous. He had fought off his council's insistence for a mate long enough to know that if his father truly didn't want a mate, he didn't need to have accepted one.

Knowing that his best friend was going to be travelling with one of the people he honestly couldn't stand (and couldn't defeat though he wouldn't admit it) was enough to send Inuyasha on a rampage, exclaiming all the dangers of why she shouldn't go and the multitude of ways Sesshomaru would take advantage of her and use her as some kind of sick bait just to make Inuyasha himself suffer. Kagome personally thought it was ridiculous, and that Inuyasha was far overestimating his worth in Sesshomaru's eyes. Sesshomaru wouldn't bother with him so long as he didn't need or want anything from him. For the most part, Sesshomaru would try to avoid Inuyasha, if only to keep his ears away from his younger half-brother's screeching, or something of the like Kagome assumed.

Their relationship mostly entailed the physical parts, but Sesshomaru was willing to open up a little bit about himself, and Kagome was intuitive enough a girl that she was more than capable of putting together the bits and pieces of what he would tell her to figure out what he really meant when he said things. By the time she'd figured out his character, she was able to translate the short sentences he would give her into actual conversation, and though to any outside parties their discussions would likely look incredibly one-sided on her part (something they partially were), she knew that he was just a good listener, and appreciated that she was smart enough to understand that him not being openly conversational didn't necessarily mean he was putting her off. He was just a quiet guy.

"Kagome, seriously, I swear to god, that ice-cube will find some way to use you against me. He might kill you and hang you on the sacred tree! Or-or, maybe he'll rape you and leave you lost and wandering, trying to find your way home! I don't know what, but he'll do something awful to get to me, and you'll be the one suffering because of it, and I don't want that for you Kagome. I won't let you go!"

Kagome resisted the urge to roll her eyes for thousandth time, out of fear that this time they'd go so far back they'd get stuck back there. She knew for a fact that Inuyasha was well aware that though Sesshomaru was incredibly ruthless, and while colder in demeanor, had a temper as easily triggered as Inuyasha's, he wasn't the type to go about doing evil deeds for his own personal amusement, and Inuyasha was far from amusing enough to keep Sesshomaru interested. Sesshomaru decided he didn't want Tessaiga anymore, and therefore had no reason to interact or go after Inuyasha. He was a man of logic and spending more time than necessary around his half-brother was far from a smart move to make.

"Inuyasha, I'm going whether you like it or not. I've discussed the details with Kikyo and I leave it to her to convince you that I'll be alright." With that, she left his hut. While her more hateful parts disliked Kikyo, as a whole, Kagome did respect the elder miko, and didn't necessarily hate her. Kagome would always be jealous of Kikyo, she accepted that much, but she was willing to put in the effort to get along with the mate of her best friend. It was the least she could do after all that Inuyasha had done for her in the past.

At this point in time, she wasn't jealous of Kikyo for having gotten Inuyasha, but rather jealous that Kikyo was capable of having someone at all. Kagome longed for the everlasting love that their relationship held, or the unbreakable trust within Miroku and Sango's family. It reminded her of Tokyo, and the kind of life she may just never see again.

* * *

When the time to leave had arrived, Kagome was careful not to have to say goodbye to any of her friends. She was worried she'd get attached at the last minute and lose her resolve to leave, and she couldn't have that. She was going with Sesshomaru. She had to. She had to get away from all this- Inuyasha and Kikyo's happy marriage, Sango and Miroku's ever-growing family, the human village and how all of them centered their lives around little more than their _feelings_ and _love_. No matter how the realization of how her mindset was gradually shifting from the intense need to be good, kind, sympathetic, all that mushy stuff she used to feel in waves before the jewel turned her into something both more and less than her past self, to feeling little empathy toward human emotion, or anything that didn't have a direct effect or benefit to her stung, Kagome just couldn't stand it.

She couldn't take watching what she would never have waved around in her face anymore. She knew they weren't trying to do it. She knew that after all the suffering they'd endured, they deserved this much- the reason she felt so guilty for what she couldn't help but feel deep down, she wasn't happy there. She was honored that Sango would name her child after her brother. She was proud to be little Souta's Aunt (and godmother, she would hope). But no matter how clearly her friend's love and respect was portrayed through that action, it didn't change the fact that Sango now had a husband, three children, and her brother beside her now, likely till death do them part. It was something Kagome wouldn't allow herself to see again. And she was more than happy to see her best friend, who had stuck with her through thick and thin, finally be reunited with the love of his life after they had both been played and cruelly manipulated by none other than Naraku himself.

Maybe, she thought, being with the demons would help her. At this point, almost five years since she'd come to the realization of what kind of being she'd become, she was slowly letting the pain that fell alongside letting go of her humanity, willingly and unwillingly, all in one, calm from a daily, thundering pound inside of her, to a dull throb. Demons felt little regard for humans and how they felt everything at intense levels because humans died quickly. They looked stupid, (her human parts were amongst the most stupid over-feeling people she knew) feeling all that they did, and it was easy to reach the conclusion that this was because they had to make the most of their very little time. Kagome felt like she was being tugged back and forth between the part of her that wanted to accept her current self, and the part of her that just wanted to once again feel every emotion the human soul had to offer at full blast, with her friends and family beside her.

The piece of her with hope was unrealistic. That Kagome's dreams were too impossible to achieve without an excessive amount of heartbreak, which was why the demons would help her. She needed to accept herself. She had to, and exposure was her first guess at the right way of going about things.

"Rin, Kagome." Sesshomaru's greeting was brief as he arrived by Youki cloud, lending each of them a clawed hand of assistance onto the slightly expanded demon flight mechanism.

"I'm off." Kagome smiled softly at the village. When she could decide who she wanted to be. That was when she would come back.


End file.
